'Ugly Betty' Made Me Ugly Cry

I made the mistake of watching Ugly Betty and why I'm now making it everyone else's problem, thoughts on Paris Geller being GG, if she went to Constance Billard and do we think we're getting a MA 2?

OK, guess what? 

You know that Betty Suarez girl from Mode magazine? Well, that four-eyed ball of sunshine unwillingly took me through every stage of grief. Over and over again. Oh, and that's just episode one. Now, having watched the series all the way through (twice), I have some thoughts:

1. Talk about 'No Cry' Challenge.

2. Did that exec assistant from Queens do more for in a six-week binge-watch than my on-again, off-again therapist did over three years?

The jury's still out on that one, but let's just say Betty could be my therapist, but my therapist could never do a day at Mode. No offense.

Let's get this out of the way and call a spade a spade. Betty is and has always been that girl. And why is she that girl? Because as much 'round peg in a square hole-ing as there is (don't go there), her sense of self is unwavering even in moments of doubt. Which the writers made sure there were plenty of. And Wilhelmina Slater added some more, just in case. 

At first glance, you think you're getting a version of 'The Devil Wears Prada' meets Days of Our Lives, but what you're getting is a young, ambitious Latina juggling adulthood, family, career, love, and two cups of coffee—one for her and one for Daniel Meade. And with the best backdrop, no less (Manhattan).

To get real for a sec, watching Betty outmaneuver the high-fashion world with everyone seemingly (and blatantly) casting doubt on her success is a masterclass in why throwing any sense of imposter syndrome to hell is essential. 

You want to talk about industry disruptors? Let's talk about walking into Mode Magazine with a bright red Guadalajara poncho, matching glasses, and the biggest smile East of the Mississippi. Talk about industry disruption. 

And don't even get me started on the Suarez family. Ignacio, Hilda and especially Justin. That's a character I recognize all too well, and it feels like Justin is holding a mirror to pre-teen me, queueing the aforementioned waterworks. 

Betty thrives amidst all the backstabbing, gaslighting, lying, back-from-the-dead-ing, firing, and re-hiring. And you know what? She's still running circles around everyone.

The series manages to give everyone their flowers. And their fair share of thorns, but wow, what a show.

OK, fine. I'll rewatch it for the third time; don't twist my arm. 

Speaking of influential media outlets in Manhattan (no, not the Spectator), is there potential for Lonely Boy to have been Lonely Girl if, let's say, Paris Geller transferred from Chilton to Constance Billard her first year of high school? I would put money on the fact that Paris would be text-blasting "Nate Archibald: Class Wh*re" in no time.

Paris could be burning couture in trash cans, dumping froyo on headbands, and sending Georgina to Jesus camp all by the end of fifth period. If you give her till sixth period, she will get Nelly Yuki to transfer out. We'll revisit this hypothetical at a later date.

I'll wrap this up with a quote by my mother, MA (Octavia Spencer as the titular MA): "Okay, everybody listen up real quick. My only house rules are: Don't take the Lord's name in vain, and don't spit on my floors."

Seriously, it's been four years, and I think it's time for Octavia to reprise her role. 

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